The script
“I know it feels that way, and I know some of your friends really do have it. Different families make different calls, and I’m not going to trash their parents—they love their kids too. You know why we’ve made ours, and I’ll walk through the why with you as many times as you want, tonight if you want. What I won’t do is change it because of a headcount.”
Why it works
The answer receives the feeling without trying to audit every phone in the grade. It refuses to turn other families into the enemy, so your child does not have to defend their friends. It reopens the reason for the boundary while making clear that social pressure alone will not move it.
You do not have to win the exchange. Your child does not need to concede that the line is fair. The useful outcome is smaller and stronger: the boundary held and the relationship held.
Do not argue in the hottest moment
Use fewer words while either of you is escalated. Hold the immediate line and schedule the real conversation for later:
“I’m not changing this tonight, and I will talk about it as long as you want tomorrow.”
Make “everyone” smaller
Two or three nearby families with roughly aligned rules can change the social reality. The goal is not a pact of perfect parents. It is a real Friday night, backyard, carpool, or group of friends where your child is not the only one living outside the feed.
Read the age guidance for the child you have now, or use the family reset when the problem is already established.